And It's Not the End of the World

A fellow dating expert emailed me this quote and I really like it.  Not much else to add to it right now. I guess I'll just say that the most interesting part to think about is the last line - "And it's not the end of the world."  I think just letting go is the hardest part. And sometimes, no matter how hard you try not to feel this way, it does feel like the end of the world. So just sit with that for a bit, and before you know it, you will look around and see that your world has not ended, and the best part of it all, is that you are still someone who can be loved. 

"You Were Hotter Online" - Top 3 Ways to Avoid This Situation

Some online dating photo tips for those just getting started (or those who really need to reconsider their online photo choices):

#1 - Keepin' it real.. and recent!
Recent is not a relative term in this case.  No matter what your age, ideally, you want photos from the past year or so (give or take).  If your looks have changed significantly (weight loss/gain, hair color/style/loss, facial hair...etc.) make sure you represent ONLY how you look now. Get a second opinion - run your photo picks by a friend (or dating coach!) to confirm that you are accurately representing yourself.  A dating profile with photos of someone who looks completely different in all their photos, is a red flag. Which brings me to #2...

My Last First Date

Last week I celebrated the 2 year anniversary of my last first date.  It was the day I met my husband, in person, for the first time.  I really love this story, not only because it’s the sweet memory of the day I met my best friend and love of my life, but also because how it all went down was so wonderfully unexpected. My husband was right around the corner, and all I had to do was force myself to show up that night.  Yes, I said force.  I forced myself to be there that night.  I actually forced myself to talk to him on the phone for the first time just a few days earlier that week.  I was in one of those dating lulls.  Not really actively dating because work and social life were super busy for me that summer.  My profile was up on Eharmony but I rarely checked in or responded to new matches and requests for communication.  I was just feeling kind of “meh” about dating at that point. 

Don't Date Your Phone

If you are single and looking not to be so any longer, there is an important rule that you should start to accept and embrace: TEXTING DOESN’T COUNT.  This applies to both genders equally.   The moment I hear someone say, “So we were texting back and forth for a while and…” I kind of want to start screaming. But I don’t.  I simply explain why TEXTING DOESN’T COUNT.

Tit For Tat

I checked in with one of my clients the other day about a first date she went on last weekend, to see how it went. We'll call her Sarah.*  Her response was (verbatim from her text): "The date was such a nice guy but not for me... He asked me out again and I was honest and said I would love to hang out as friends, but he didn't respond. He was really sweet, but I had no attraction whatsoever."  I immediately remembered that Sarah just went through a rough patch in her dating life a couple weeks prior, telling me that it seems like whenever she finally goes out with someone she likes, they don't call her or ask her out again.  No one ever likes her! 

Just real quick...

A quick dating tip from John Waters:

Wookin' Pa Nub

When I was 27, I broke off my engagement after a 4-year relationship and moved on, because I knew deep down inside, that the relationship just wasn’t right for me. It was the most difficult thing I had ever done – breaking it off with a wonderful man, who I knew I was not in love with.  While all my friends were getting married, I had to start over from square one and face the world, single once again.  I moved back to my hometown (San Diego) with just a couple of friends left in town, single for the first time in over 4 years, no real career path, and lived with my mom.  The whole situation sucked. A lot.  It was a very hard transition for me.  It felt painful and lonely being on my own again.  Within a few months I wanted to find love again, and so I started the search by joining Jdate.com.