My Last First Date

Last week I celebrated the 2 year anniversary of my last first date.  It was the day I met my husband, in person, for the first time.  I really love this story, not only because it’s the sweet memory of the day I met my best friend and love of my life, but also because how it all went down was so wonderfully unexpected. My husband was right around the corner, and all I had to do was force myself to show up that night.  Yes, I said force.  I forced myself to be there that night.  I actually forced myself to talk to him on the phone for the first time just a few days earlier that week.  I was in one of those dating lulls.  Not really actively dating because work and social life were super busy for me that summer.  My profile was up on Eharmony but I rarely checked in or responded to new matches and requests for communication.  I was just feeling kind of “meh” about dating at that point. 

So I’m sitting at home that Wednesday night in my condo, post-workout, with my favorite take-outs and 4 hours of Grey’s Anatomy and Dexter episodes to catch up on. I happily immersed myself in my perfect planned little Sophy evening.  About 2.5 hours later, I get the text message. Sigh. It reads: “Hi yay, it’s Michael from eHarmony. Would tonight be a good time to chat? J”  Yes, he actually used the word “yay” and a smile emoticon.  I reluctantly pause Dexter (mid-stab) and read it, and then try to remember who the hell “Michael from eHarmony” is.  I drag myself over to my laptop and log into the site to put a face to the name. 

Ok, he’s cute. Jewish. Tall. Good career. Lives in Orange County – not ideal.  Still, I should text him back.  We were matched and last emailed… 3 months ago?!  Jesus. No wonder I had no clue who he was.  My text back as I sit down and hit play on the DVR: “Sure, I’m leaving town tomorrow so tonight would be a better night to chat.” 10 seconds later, my phone is ringing. It’s him.  UGH!!  Seriously??  I answer and he’s super sweet, and despite this, I immediately say, “Hey, I’m just in the middle of a show right now, can I call you back a little later?”  Total bitch move.  He says yes and I finish watching Dexter.  It’s late now and I am SO not in the mood. Not in the mood for the chit-chat. Not in the mood to be “on” with someone new.  Just don’t feel like it AT ALL.  But I did the right thing, and I called him back. 

Fast forward 3 days to that Saturday night.  I'm tired, still slightly hung over from the crazy night before, and wanting to cancel because I'm so not in the mood for a first date that night.  But I didn't cancel (thanks Evie!).  Instead, I met my future husband at the front gate of my condo, where he handed me a plush toy flower. 2 amazing years later and here we are. Married, living in our home near the beach, with that same plush flower sitting on our mantel, right next to the book Michael wrote me as his proposal. 

Being single is not easy. Dating is hard. The whole damn thing is so draining.  Keep at it, take breaks, stay open, and push yourself to work towards finding what you are looking for in your life.  Unlike Vegas, the jackpot WILL eventually and unexpectedly, be right around the next corner.